Complicated
by niktar
Summary: One Shot Songfic. Lucas and Haley. It is set after Lucas comes back from Charleston and is AU from there.


Anything inside these ( ) are flashbacks. **Also, I wasn't aware since I wrote all these song-fics years ago that we are not allowed to post the song lyrics in the stories anymore. So I have taken them out... it's hard when the real inspiration behind a fic is the song but what can you do?... When or before reading this story please listen to Carolyn Dawn Johnson's song "Complicated".**

You had thought maybe you were still dreaming when you woke up a few weeks ago to find a warm body snuggled up next to yours. His arm thrown carelessly over your side, his face buried in your hair. But you hadn't been. He had really been there, in the flesh. Not just a figment of your imagination. Relief and happiness and peace had flowed through you as you realized he was really back. And suprisingly you had felt a heat upon your cheeks as tears flowed down. He had woken up then and given you a confused look, before teasing you about being so unhappy that he was back. On the contrary, you had been so happy that he was back that you hadn't even hit him for his stupid asinine teasing. Instead you had thrown your arms around him and hugged him close for a few minutes until Karen had opened the door asking if you wanted some breakfast. She, too, had been as surprised as you and tears immediately filled up her eyes. He had then informed the two of you that if he had known that both of you were going to be so sad that he was back he might not have come home. But he had only been teasing, evidenced by the familiar smirk that had settled on his face. Now here you are at the cafe working, and the bell has just jingled, signaling someone's arrival. You look up from the counter to see him walking towards you. And for a moment, just a moment, you contemplate escape. He has caught you in the midst of thinking about him. And you're not quite sure if you can hide how you really feel about him right now. You're almost positive your feelings have to be plain to see, and if he looks in your eyes, you'll be done for.

You are entranced by her beauty as soon as you walk in the room. She must have been thinking about something serious before you came in, you can tell by look on her face. And you wonder for a minute what is on her mind. You ask if she can take a break and she responds sarcastically that just because you are the owner's son doesn't mean she has to hang out with you. You laugh in spite of yourself, at your own expense. She can always make you do that. She walks around the counter then to go help a customer that has just entered the cafe. You grab her around the waist from behind and pull her back to you. She gives you an exasperated look and complains that you are interrupting her work. But she wraps her arms around your neck anyway as you give her a hug. And you smile because you knew she would. And because it feels so right to be holding her. She pulls away from you, a similiar smile on her face that mirrors your own. And she touches your cheek softly. For a moment you can't breathe, you're so focused on her touch. Then the phone rings and the moment is gone. She asks you to answer it before she moves across the room to help a customer. You obligingly get up and are surprised to find your knees slightly weak.

You are surprised to realize that your hands are shaking a little as you take down the customer's order. He has such an affect on you lately and you just don't know what to do. Part of you wants to share with him how you feel. The other part just wants you to keep it to yourself.

You hang up the phone and head back to the other side of the counter, your thoughts wandering back to her. You know that the reason you came back was because of her, but you just don't want to rush things. Say something that could ruin the friendship the two of you share. You want to make sure of your feelings, be completely positive about how you feel, how she feels, before you say anything.

It's the next day and you're sitting on the picnic table at the court by the riverside. The wind is blowing your hair across your face and for about the hundreth time that day you push it back behind your ears, letting out a loud sigh. Brooke, who is sitting behind you, laughs at your irritation as she gathers your hair into her hands and begins braiding it. Peyton bats your hair out of Brooke's hold and complains that she isn't quite finished with her drawing. Looking over at her sketchpad you realize she has been drawing you. You voice your disapproval but she continues and you make no real effort to stop her. Mouth's commentary catches your attention again and you laugh as he plays up the rivalry between the good 'ol boys, Skillz and company, and the brothers, Nate and Luke. They all seem to be having a good time and the whole atmosphere of the day is light-hearted. Your eye catches Luke's after he sinks yet another perfect three-pointer and he winks at you. You smile in response before memories of the past few weeks flash through your mind. (About a week ago-You are sitting there on a lounge chair on the side of Brooke's pool at a party and Lucas comes over sopping wet and lays in your lap as you laugh and pull him close wrapping a towel around him.) (Last saturday night-You are making brownies with Lucas and he takes some of the mix and wipes it across your cheek and you push him away, trying to keep a laugh from escaping as you chide him for being so childish) (Last night-You are closing up the cafe and Lucas is sitting there switching the channels on the radio, never staying on one for more than a few seconds. Finally you can't stand it anymore and throw the dishrag you've been wiping the tables down with at him and inform him if he isn't gone in five seconds you will have to hurt him and he leaves laughing as he calls that he'll see you later for movie night.) (A couple nights ago-You are on the docks with Lucas discussing the movie the two of you just saw and all of a sudden rain starts falling from the sky and Lucas grabs your hand and starts to sprint for the truck, but you resist as he looks at you in complete confusion. You laugh at his bewilderment and ask him if he'd like to stay and dance and with some pleading he agrees, but not without some teasing about your recent loss of sanity.)

You feel a nudge that brings you back to the present and you look over to see Peyton giving you a quizzical look. She asks what you were thinking about and you contemplate telling her for a split second. But you don't. You let your gaze stray to Lucas again and allow yourself a moment to imagine telling him how you feel. But you can't even begin to predict his response.

You look over to see her looking at you again, an intense look of concentration on her face. It's almost like she's trying to look through you, straight to your soul. You wish she could. Then maybe she would know how you feel about her and you wouldn't have to even say anything. But you quickly squash that thought. What if she realized how you felt about her and she didn't feel the same. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you turn away and focus all your energy on the game.

You turn from the game at Brooke's bequest and take Jenny from her arms so you can hand her to Peyton, who smiles geniunely happy to hold the sweet baby girl. You and Brooke tease her a little about how doting she is becoming, but change the subject quickly because honestly she's as happy as you two have ever seen her and neither of you want to ruin it. Brooke complains about her guy situation lately or lack thereof, she claims. You tell her to give it time, that someone worthy will come along if she just has patience and Peyton throws in that while she's waiting there are plenty of guys to keep her occupied. Brooke laughs and says that she is looking for a challenge, as her gaze wanders, landing on Nathan. You and Peyton both notice and you find yourself warning her to make sure she doesn't hurt him. She looks to you and seems surprised that you seem fine with her going after your ex. You smile at her and tell her that he could do much worse and you are shocked when she impulsively leans down and gives you a hug. Peyton looks on at the exchange and makes some sarcastic remark about how if everything keeps going like this you'll all be like characters off of Dawson's Creek. Continuing with her analogy she asks you how things are going with Dawson. You tell her that you're glad he's back, that you really missed your best friend when he was gone. She gives you a look of complete exasperation and sighs, acting deeply troubled. Then she asks you when the two of you are going to admit your more than platonic feelings for one another and if you realize how much he talks about you. You try to brush off her comment, but you find it difficult. Because now she's got you wondering again.

You let your body sink onto the court and you eagerly gulp water from the bottle in your hands. A breeze blows across your face and you sigh in contentment as you allow your screaming muscles to rest. You watch Jake looking at Peyton, who is sitting at the picnic table rocking Jenny to sleep. He has the same look on his face that you used to have when you looked at her. You know he adores her, is enamored by her, wants to understand her. And unlike you, you know he can. He does. You find it funny how things can change so much, in so little time. Nathan is proof positive of that fact. You had never thought that you would ever like him, much less ever consider him a real brother. But here the two of you are, on the same side, working to build what you know will be a lifelong friendship and comraderie. Wanting to forget your serious thoughts for a while you comment to Jake that he might want to keep his drooling to a minimum and just tell Peyton how he feels. Before Jake can respond Nathan asks when you are going to tell Haley how you feel. The question takes you by surprise, and you look at Nathan closely to see if he looks at all mad. He doesn't though, in fact he looks quite calm, just curious. You force a laugh and tell him you don't know what he's talking about, that you and Haley are just friends. He shakes his head, disgusted by your blatant denial. Jake looks at you a little increduously and asks whether you're really that blind that you can't see what's right in front of you. Even Skillz, who is always on your side, tells you that you need to get a clue. You jump up then to escape their badgering and tell them that you've all had enough rest. That the game is back in play. Moving to set up for the ball toss you admit, if only to yourself, that Haley has been looking at you an awful lot lately, with that unreadable look on her face.

You watch the guys get up from the court to start the final game and you're still trying to erase Peyton's words from your memory, to no avail. Lucas sinks another awesome three-pointer from his sweet spot and looks over to you, flashing you that cocky smirk and a thumbs up. You just shake your head at his arrogance. Then it hits you that you find it endearing and that's when you realize how far you've fallen. That's when you wish with everything that he'd just confess he felt the same thing you were feeling.

You turn away as you see her shaking her head at you, and allow yourself to laugh. She's so predictable, and you know how she'll react to almost anything. But you have no idea what she would say if you asked her if she had more than friendly feelings towards you. You know that Nathan is right, that you have feelings for her, but you just aren't sure how to tell her. And you aren't sure if you're willing to risk what the two of you have.

(A couple nights ago-You're shooting baskets at the riverside court, each one hitting the rim. Your mind just isn't there and neither is your concentration. It's on Haley. The ball bounces back to you for about the millionth time and with frustration you propel it at the backboard, that emits a loud BANG.)

(About a week ago-You and Haley are playing mini-golf and you shake your head as she gets a hole in one and wins the game. She is dancing around in front of you, rubbing in her victory. You laugh and pull her into what she thinks is a congratulatory hug. She is mistaken though and realizes her mistake as you pull her closer.)

(Last weekend-You are sitting in your room reading a book and Haley enters looking quite pleased with herself. You ask her what she's been up to and she just smiles at you slyly, telling you she has just been by the party store. Then she takes you completely by surprise as she attacks you with silly string. You push her away and after some time manage to wrestle the can away from her.)

(Movie night about a week ago-You are waiting for Haley. She was supposed to be over about a half an hour ago with the movies. You have made the popcorn and even baked some cookies, well your mom had baked them, but it's the thought that counts, and she still wasn't here. Just then she shows up throwing the movies to you, hair all in disarray and informs you that she risked her life for movie night because she almost got blown away. You just shake your head, and tell her to go home. She looks at you bewildered and asks why. You hold up the empty cases and both of you then burst out laughing.)

(A few nights ago-You are watching a basketball game on TV and Haley is reading a book. Then suddenly she looks at the clock and stands quickly, putting on her coat as she moves to the door. You look up, not understanding her haste to leave out of nowhere. You call to her and she looks back, hand already on the doorknob. You ask her why she is leaving and she tells you that her TV show is coming on and there is no way she's going to miss it and there is no way you are going to change the game so she has no choice. You laugh at her seriousness and ask her what channel. She just looks at you so you ask her again. She answers you this time and you pat the bed next to you and take the book out her hands, telling her she can watch and you'll read. At least this way you get her to stay.)

Wanting something to occupy your mind you pick up Jake's guitar next to you and pick at the chords. Once you familairize yourself with the instrument you begin to play. It's an old song, one your brother taught you when you were a lot younger, one of the first things you ever learned to play. You feel safe, wrapped in the melody, but still you wonder if you should tell him, because he makes you safe too.

You stop dribbling as the music washes over you. You can remember Haley playing you that same song millions of times a day everyday years ago when she was first learning to play the guitar. You would know that melody anywhere. It always makes you feel peaceful, always makes you feel like you are HOME. She will always be your safe haven and that makes you want to tell her even more how you feel. But you are terrified that you'll screw it up.

You continue to play, not realizing that everyone has stopped what they are doing to listen to you. Then as you strum the last chord, you are surprised to hear claps erupt around you. You start to blush and notice even Jenny is now looking up at you with a contented smile on her angelic face. You wave off the applause and tell the guys to just get back to their game. They oblige, but Peyton and Brooke bombard you with questions, wanting to know why you never told anyone that you could play the guitar and if you could sing. You answer their questions but really your mind is elsewhere. That song brought back everything from your childhood, reminded you of your secret dreams and hopes. Reminded you how you'd been waiting forever for someone like Lucas. He fits your ideal of a prince that you had when you were so much younger and so much more naïve.

You try to keep your head in the game but the song has completely thrown you off. You know that you need to do something real soon about Haley or you are going to go insane. All of a sudden it hits you why you're so indecisive about this. Usually when something like this comes up Haley is the one to help you make a decision or point you in the right direction. This time though she can't. Or maybe she can.

You watch Lucas miss a perfectly easy lay-up and wonder whether your song threw him off his game. You wonder whether the song means as much to him as it does to you. You wonder whether he could feel the same as you do. Whether he does. And as complicated as you keep making it, you know the only way you'll ever know is to talk to him. He is your best friend. No matter how he feels he'd never not be there for you. Right?


End file.
